


CAN'T STAND THE HEARTACHE

by LilRamona



Category: Joey Ramone - Fandom, New York City - Fandom, Ramones, Real Person Fiction, The St. Mark, physical abuse - Fandom, punk - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationship, CBGB, F/M, New York, Punk Rock, Ramones - Freeform, St. Mark, real person fiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 23:26:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5352305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilRamona/pseuds/LilRamona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are involved in an abusive/domestic violence relationship.  Your new next door neighbor is Joey Ramone, from the punk band the Ramones. He starts up a friendly relationship with you and you get to be friends. Joey is around your abusive relationship and offers to lend a helping hand, perhaps more.</p><p>*Someone asked me to write this story about her own personal experience in an abusive relationship and she wanted Joey to be her "savior" and "angel". Writing it was an emotional experience.</p>
            </blockquote>





	CAN'T STAND THE HEARTACHE

New York City 1989

You walk down the hall of your apartment at the St. Mark, with 2 bags in your hand. Both bags are heavy but you are determined to make it.

Just then you see a hot, tall, dark, long haired guy come out of his apartment, which is right across the hall from yours. You have never seen him before, so you wonder if he just moved in.

He spots you down the hallway, struggling with the bags. He rushes over to you and says, “Let me help you with those.” He takes both bags in his hands and walks towards your apartment.

You say, “Thank you! But how do you know where my apartment is?”

He says, “Uh, I’ve seen you before. I live right across from you, we’re neighbors. I just moved in last week. By the way, my name is Joey. And you are?”

You tell him your name.

Joey says, “Nice to meet you.” When he reaches your door, he pauses. He looks at you and says, “Uh, what should I do? Leave the bags here or I can carry them in for you.”

You unlock your door and open it. You say, “You can bring them in.”

Joey goes in your apartment and heads to the kitchen. He places the bags on your counter.

He looks around and says, “I like what you’ve done with the place. You have great taste.”

You smile and say, “Thanks so much.”

Joey spots a photograph of you and your boyfriend Shane on an end table in the living room.

He says, “That must be your boyfriend?”

You say, “Yeah, that’s Shane.’

Joey lowers his head and says, “Guess I’m outta luck. I was hoping you were single.”

You smile and your eyes meet his, as he looks up. You say, “What? A guy like you doesn’t have a girl?”

Joey shrugs and says, “Nobody wants to date me. But then again, I’m hardly ever home. I’m in a band, we’re called The Ramones. We tour a lot but right now, we are playing shows in town.”  
You say, “Well Joey, I think you’re very sweet and I think any girl that dates you would be a lucky girl.”

Joey smiles and you notice how dazzling his smile is. He has a sweet smile. You felt your heart flutter.

Just then your boyfriend Shane walks in through the front door. You didn’t know he was coming over, but then again he doesn’t always tell you.

He spots you and Joey and immediately says, “Who the hell is HE?”

Shane wasn’t the nicest person and he treated you terribly, but you had been with him for 2 years, you felt stuck in the relationship. Shane paid your bills for you, so you didn’t have to work. If you weren’t with Shane, you have no idea where you’d be.

Shane worked as a mechanic and owned his own shop. He made a lot of money. He usually stopped by your place after work. Sometimes he stayed the night. Shane did not live with you because he had a wife that he went home to. You were just his girlfriend and you were okay with that. 

You met Shane at a KISS concert, 2 years ago. He was with a buddy of his and you were with a girlfriend. All 4 of you started talking and exchanged numbers. You thought Shane was really cute, with his long, brown hair and green eyes. He has since cut his hair short, gained weight and looks nothing like he used to. He used to be really sweet at first but as time went on, his attitude changed and he has become extremely jealous and somewhat violent.

You say, “This is Joey, my neighbor. He was nice enough to carry my grocery bags for me, when he saw me walking down the hall.”

Shane looks at Joey and sarcastically says, “Well, isn’t that nice?”

Joey says, “Nice to meet you.”

He sees the way Shane is looking at him and decides it’s time to go. He says, “Well I’ll leave you two alone. Hey, it was nice meeting you both.”

You walk Joey to the front door and say, “Thanks so much, Joey. I’ll see you around.”

As soon as the door shuts, Shane walks up to you and pulls you by the hair. You shriek because it hurts like hell.

He says, “What the hell do you think you’re doing, having that long haired freak in your apartment? Are you cheating on me or what?”

You say, “No! I told you he carried those bags in for me! Something YOU should be doing!”

Shane slaps you across the face and says, “I was at work! Making money so I can pay YOUR bills! That food that is in those grocery bags comes from my hard work! You live here, at the St. Mark! One of Manhattan’s richest buildings! So don’t you bitch to me about how I should have been carrying those grocery bags! And I don’t like the way that long haired hippie was looking at you. He wants to fuck you. I know it.”

Your cheek stings from the slap. You walk into the bedroom and shut the door.

Shane opens the door and follows you in there and says, “Look, I don’t like losing my temper with you, but you piss me off.”

You and Shane argue for the rest of the evening. It’s something that was starting to get old.

 

When you wake up the next morning, your face is sore, but there are no marks on your face.  
As you splash cold water on your face, you look in the mirror. You look tired, but at least there are no bruises….this time.

Shane had stayed until midnight, then had gone home to his wife. Before he left, he wanted to roll around in the sack, of course. You had not been in the mood, but you let him do what he wanted to you. You were glad when he left.

You get dressed in a pair of jeans, a low-cut black top and black boots. You fix up your hair and make-up. 

Since Shane didn’t want you to work (God forbid you work with other men), you really didn’t have set plans for each day. You visited friends, shopped or took walks.

You decide to do a load of laundry. The laundry room was downstairs, in the basement.  
You gather a basket of dirty clothes, laundry detergent, a Stephen King book and head down to the laundry room.

When you enter the laundry room, you unexpectedly see Joey there. He looks up at you and says, “Hi there.”

You look at him shyly and say, “Hi.” You find an empty washer and dump your clothes in it.

Joey, who is standing there with his arms crossed, says, “Uh listen, I hope I didn’t cause any problems yesterday. I heard you guys fighting after I left.”

You look up at him and say, “It wasn’t your fault, Joey.”

You get back to your laundry. There is nobody else in the laundry room except for you and Joey. It makes things a bit awkward. 

Joey says, “Hey listen, my band is playing at CBGB on Saturday. You guys should come.”

You smile at him and say, “Thanks for the invite. I’ll see if we can make it.”

Joey says, “Cool. I’ll buy you guys a round of drinks if you come.”

Joey spots your Stephen King book and says, “Ahhh...I know Stephen. He’s a fan of our band.”

You say, “Really?! He’s my favorite author!”

Joey says, “Yeah, I can introduce you to him some time, if you’d like.” He gives you a sweet, genuine smile.

Your heart flutters again. He is so damn sweet. And gorgeous. Why couldn’t you be single?

You and Joey talk about a lot of things in the laundry room. It’s as if you’ve known him forever.

When both of you are done with laundry, you walk together to your apartments. Both of you pause as you reach your doors.

Joey says, “I know this sounds stupid, but I had fun in the laundry room with you.”

You smile at him and say, “Me too.”

Joey locks his eyes with yours. You both stare at each other for a few seconds. 

He says, “Hey, if you get lonely or bored, you know where to find me, ok? I’ll be home all day today, writin’ new music.”

You say, “Ok and thanks.” You smile at him and go in your apartment.

When you are in, you throw the basket down and sigh really loud.

You think to yourself, why do I have to be taken? You aren’t even happy in your relationship with Shane. But you knew your choices were limited. If you got out of the relationship, he would probably try to kill you. 

You decide to sit on the couch and read for awhile, since you didn’t get to read in the laundry room. You definitely preferred talking to Joey over reading. He was such a nice and fun guy. You thought about his sexy eyes and lips. You couldn’t believe a man like that was single.

When 5:00pm comes around, your phone rings. It’s Shane.

Shane: Hi doll, what are you doing?

You: Reading.

Shane: Listen, I won’t be able to come over tonight. Lizzie (his wife) is getting on my case about not spending time with her.

You: I understand. You should definitely spend time with her.

Shane: You better behave.

You: I always behave.

Shane: Well I’ll see you tomorrow. Love you.

You: Love you. Bye.

You almost leap for joy as you hang up the phone. No Shane tonight! You can hardly believe the good news.

You go over to your stereo and put in an Aerosmith record. You play it a little louder than you should, but you are in a great mood.

You think about going to Joey’s a little later. He said he was going to be home all day and night.  
You could use the company and he was GREAT company. Maybe you’d cook up some dinner and take it over to him. Surprise him.

You go to the kitchen and see what you have. You have rice, potatoes, and some steaks in the refrigerator. You decide that you are going to cook Joey a nice meal and take it over to him. Thanks for the food, Shane, you smirk to yourself. You doubt that Joey cooks and he probably eats a lot of fast food, being a single guy. You never used to cook, but you had taken cooking lessons as something to do, since Shane didn’t want you to work. You had to do SOMETHING with your time.

When the food is prepared, you place everything in a nice dish and cover it up with plastic wrap.

You go to the mirror and check your hair and make-up. You don’t want to go over there looking like crap.

You open your apartment door and walk across to Joey’s door. As you knock, your heart races.

Joey opens the door and is surprised to see you. 

He smiles shyly and says, “Well hey there” He looks gorgeous in his WHO t-shirt and ripped jeans. His hair a wild, sexy mess.

You say, “I brought you some food. I cooked it myself. I thought you may like a home cooked meal.” You hand him the plate of hot food.

Joey looks at it and says, “Great, it looks killer! Uh, thanks a lot. Wanna come in? Don’t mind my mess.”

As you enter Joey’s apartment, you notice that his apartment looks just like the way you imagined it. Not dirty or messy, just a bit cluttered with papers, records, guitars, and books everywhere.

You notice on his wall, he has framed gold records of his band. 

Joey moves some stuff off the couch and says, “Have a seat.” You sit on his long, red, sectional couch. You are surprised at how comfortable it is.

Joey puts the plate on his kitchen counter and says, “ Aren’t you gonna eat with me?”

You say, “I only brought a plate for you.” You weren’t even thinking about yourself. All you thought about was him.

Joey says, “Well uh, we can both share this plate.” He pulls out a clean plate from his cabinet and he divides the food into 2 plates.

He brings both plates out into the living room and gently places them on his coffee table. 

He goes back into the kitchen and says, “What do you wanna drink? I have beer, coffee, and juice.”

You smile and say, “Beer sounds good.”

Joey pulls 2 ice cold bottles of beer from his refrigerator and brings them over to the living room.

Both of you sit on the floor and use the coffee table as a dinner table.

Joey opens your beer bottle for you and places it next to you.

He picks up his fork and takes a bite of the steak. He says, “This is fantastic! You’re an awesome cook!”

You smile and say, “I’m glad you like it.” You watch him devour his food and you think he looks so cute eating. 

You eat slowly because you are too busy watching his every move.

Joey takes a swig of his beer and says, “I’m so glad you came over. I take it your boyfriend isn’t coming over tonight?”

You shake your head and say, “He can’t tonight.” You didn’t tell Joey the reason why. There is no way in hell he needs to know that Shane has a wife and that you are just his mistress.

Joey says, “Well I guess it’s my lucky night.” He smiles at you.

You and Joey talk about a lot of things. He talks about the Ramones. He tells you about his last relationship and how the girl he was with, used him for money. She sounds like such a bitch, you think. How could anyone do that to a guy like Joey? He was so sweet, so charming, so…. perfect.

When you are done eating, Joey takes the plates into the kitchen and puts them in the sink.

He grabs 2 more beers and this time you guys sit on the couch.

Joey says, “Are you cold? Cause if you are, I can get you a blanket.”

You say, “I’m ok, but thanks.”

Joey smiles and sheepishly says, “I’d be lying if I said you weren’t on my mind all day.”

You blush and say, “Oh yeah?

Joey looks you in the eyes and says, “You are such a beautiful woman, ya know that? Your boyfriend is a lucky man.”

You look down and say, “You are so sweet. And uh, I think you are beautiful, too.”

You wish Joey would grab and kiss you….hold you. But you knew he wouldn’t do that because he was respectful of your relationship with Shane. He was a gentleman.

Joey blushes fiercely and says, “Uh, thanks. You know you just made my heart skip a beat.”  
He looks at you shyly.

You touch his hand and say, “You know if I was single, I’d give you a chance.”

Joey’s face lights up as he says, “Well, there’s still hope, right? You aren’t married or anything.”

You giggle and say, “Exactly.” 

When 10:00pm comes around, you say, “I’d better go home. I’ve been here for 5 hours.”

Joey looks disappointed. He says, “Wow, 5 hours...it went by fast.”

You give him a hug. He holds onto you tight and you love the way his arms feel around you. You feel so safe in his arms. 

He says, “Uh, I had a great time.”

You say, “So did I.”

He opens the door to his apartment door and you walk over to your door. You wave at him and go inside.

Once inside, you lean against the door and close your eyes. You can’t believe what a great time you had with Joey. 

That evening, as you are asleep in bed, you are awakened rudely by Shane. He stinks of alcohol and he wants you to have sex with him. You look at the clock radio next to you and see that it is 3:00am. He must have been at the bar all night.

You push him off of you and yell at him, “Leave me the fuck alone!”

Shane punches you in the face and you are sure he has given you a black eye. You cry out in pain. He isn’t done yet. He kicks you in the ribs so hard, you think you are going to die.

He yells, “What are you-fucking someone else? You fucking that long hair next door? Why won’t you put out for me?”

You decide you’ve had enough of his shit. You say, “I don’t wanna fuck you because I can’t stand you!”

Shane takes you by the hair and drags you around. He pushes you against the dresser, which makes a loud noise.

You grab a small vase that is on top of the dresser and throw it at him. It misses his face and it crashes against the wall.

He snarls, “You crazy bitch! You treat me this way after everything I do for you?!”

You are on the floor with your hands covering your face. You are terrified that Shane is going to beat you to death.

You crawl to the end table so you can reach the phone, but Shane kicks the phone away from you. 

He says, “Who are you calling? The cops? The hell you are!” He picks you up and slams you on the bed.

He tears your clothes off and proceeds to rape you. You don’t cry, you don’t yell or scream. You just lay there in shock. There is nothing you can do. 

You are surprised nobody has called the cops as of yet, as so much noise was coming out of your apartment.

When Shane is done raping you, he says, “Let me remind you that you are only good for 2 things...putting out for me and doing what I say!”

You look at him with disgust but say nothing. Your face and your head hurt, not to mention your ribs and back. You hope he leaves and doesn’t stay.

You lay on your side and think about committing suicide. It’s your only way out. You know you can’t escape Shane. He is powerful, has money and knows people. He’d find you if you tried to leave.

Shane interrupts your thoughts as he says, “I’m leaving. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He is still drunk off his ass but at least he is going to leave. You breathe a sigh of relief when he leaves.

You are in immense pain and can hardly move. You really need to see a doctor, but you decide to just stay in bed.

The next morning, you can hardly move. You look at the alarm clock and it reads 10:00am.  
You struggle to get out of bed, but you manage to do so. You make your way to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Your right eye is purple and swollen. You have a cut on your cheek. You lift up your nightgown and your whole left side is purple. You are a mess. You can’t even cry because your face hurts too much.

You go lay in bed again. You think more about suicide. Maybe you can swallow a bottle of sleeping pills. Who would miss you anyway? Shane won’t. You and your family don’t speak. They disowned you when they discovered you were dating a married man. You think about sweet Joey next door. He’s too good for someone like you. You come with too many problems that he doesn’t need in his life.

You hear someone knocking at your front door. You don’t care who it is, you don’t want to see anyone in the condition you are in. The knocking continues. And continues. You just ignore it and lay in bed motionless.

You look around the room and see a mess. The pieces of broken vase are all over the floor.  
A chair is overturned. 

You doze off and wake up a few hours later. The clock reads 3:00pm. You are still sore, but attempt to get up. You can barely walk. You decide you look like shit and need a shower. 

When you get out of the shower, you get dressed and attempt to look decent. That is nearly impossible but you manage to look better than you did in the morning.

You brush your long hair and look at yourself in the mirror. What do I have to live for? 

You remember that you are expecting a check in the mail from the bank. For some reason, they owed you money for some screw up on their end. 

You take your mailbox key. You put on your sunglasses to cover up your black eye and leave your apartment to head downstairs to the mailbox area.

You can’t walk fast because your body is sore. 

As you are walking down the hall, you hear someone call your name. It’s Joey. He had just come back from somewhere, it seems like.

You hear him, but keep walking. You don’t want him to see you like this. Oh lord, please no. 

Joey catches up with you and says, “Hey, didn’t ya hear me? Why didn’t you stop?”

You say, “I’m sorry Joey, I’m in a hurry.” You avoid looking at him.

Joey’s face shows concern. He says, “Are you ok? Why are you wearing sunglasses indoors?”

You shrug and say, “No reason.” You continue to walk.

Joey says, “I knocked on your apartment door this morning and got no answer. Please tell me if everything is ok?”

You don’t answer him. Joey gently grabs you by the arm and you shriek out in pain. That makes him curious and he removes your sunglasses. He discovers your black eye. His face turns white and then a furious look comes across it.

He slams his fist into the wall behind him and says, “HE did this to you, didn’t he?”

You nod your head yes. You say, “Joey, it’s not your concern.”

Joey says, “The fuck it ain’t! That mother fucker is DEAD. Ya hear me? I’m gonna kill him! How could he do this to you? I would do anything to have a girl like you and he….he doesn’t deserve you!”

You say, “Joey…” but he doesn’t let you speak.

He says, “You aren’t going back to your apartment. You are staying at my place until I take care of him. I don’t want him touching you again.”

He then picks you up gently and carries you in his arms. Your body is still sore and you cry out in pain. Joey gently whispers, “I’m so sorry.” He carries you all the way to his apartment and gently lays you on his bed.

You look at him and start bawling your eyes out. Joey holds you in his arms and kisses you on the forehead. He says, “It’s ok, baby. You’re safe with me now. I won’t let him hurt you.” 

You tell Joey EVERYTHING. How you met Shane, how Shane has a wife, how you are his mistress, how he treats you, how you are afraid to leave him. 

Joey can’t believe what he’s hearing. The more you tell him, the more furious he gets.

You show him the bruises on your body and Joey looks away. He can’t bear to look.

“Wait til I get my hands on that piece of shit! I swear, I will kill him!”, he says.

You say, “Joey, I don’t want anything to happen to you. Please…”

Joey says, “Don’t worry about me, ok? You worry about getting better. I’m going to take care of you. I gotta tell you something. I love you. I know I just met you, but I fuckin' love you.”

You look at Joey and say, “Joey, I love you too. I feel the same way.”

Joey takes you in his arms and gives you a gentle kiss on the lips. Your heart flutters wildly. Despite your pain, you finally feel happy about something.

Joey whispers, “Oh baby, you are finally mine. I love you so much...I loved you from the moment I saw you. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You look at Joey and say, “Joey, you are the only good thing in my life right now. But I come with too many problems. You deserve someone better than me.”

Joey says, "I don't want anyone but you, ok? I don't give a shit what kind of problems you come with. All I know is that I wanna be with you." He holds you in his arms for a long time, while giving you kisses. You doze off and he lets you sleep. He covers you up with a blanket.

A couple of hours later, Joey comes into the bedroom and says, “Shane is next door looking for you. I’m gonna go take care of him.”

Your heart beats violently and you say, “Joey, please be careful.”

Joey looks at you and says, “Call the cops if you have to. But don’t you dare step outside of this apartment!” Joey leaves the apartment. 

You decide to disobey him and get up from his bed. You walk to the front door and open it slightly. You can hear shouting going on in the other apartment. 

In the other apartment, Joey has Shane in a headlock. “You piece of shit, son of a bitch! You think it’s ok to beat up on women? What kind of a pussy are you?” 

Shane snarls, “I knew you were fucking my woman! She’s nothing but a whore!”

Joey punches Shane in the face with his fist. He says, “Shut the fuck up! And she is no longer YOUR woman! You don’t deserve her.”

Shane straightens up and charges at Joey. He pushes Joey into the wall. He says, “Why don’t you mind our own fucking business, you long haired piece of crap?”

Joey says, “She IS my business, you dumb bastard! She belongs to me now!” He grabs Shane by the collar and throws him across the room. Shane lands on the coffee table and breaks it.

Joey goes over there and hovers over Shane, punching him in the face repeatedly. As he is punching him, he says, “How does it feel, pussy boy?”

By then, you are in the apartment watching them fight. You had called the police and told them that Shane beat you up and now he was in a fist fight with Joey. They were on their way to arrest him. But in the meantime, you had to make sure Joey stayed safe.

Shane looks up and sees you standing there. He says, “And there’s the whore…”

Joey sees you and says, “For fuck’s sake, I told you to stay put!” 

You say, “I had to check on you!”

Shane smirks and says, “Isn’t that sweet?” He gets up all of a sudden and kicks Joey in the face, since you distracted him. As Joey falls over, Shane comes after you. 

You walk into the kitchen and grab a big steak knife. You point it at him and say, “Come get some, I dare you."

Shane walks towards you, but Joey comes from behind him and puts him in another headlock.He throws Shane to the ground and starts pounding his head onto the floor, forcefully. He puts his hands around Shane’s throat and chokes him. Shane turns red, and then purple. 

Joey snarls,“That’s it, buddy! It’s finished! You don’t ever look at her, touch her or talk to her! It’s over!” Shane looks like he’s about to pass out. You tell Joey to stop, before he kills him. For all you care, Shane can die, but you don’t want Joey to be arrested for murder.

Joey lets go of Shane and as soon as he does, the police arrive. Shane lays there coughing and trying to breathe.

Joey stands up. Blood is still pouring from his nose, from the kick in the face Shane gave him. 

One of the cops comes over to Joey and says, “Hey, you’re Joey Ramone.” He hands Joey a towel from the kitchen.

Joey wipes his face and says, “That’s me.”

You walk over to Joey and he puts his arm around you. 

The cops take Shane away in handcuffs. He is too disoriented to say or do anything. 

The policeman takes a report from you and Joey. He asks you and Joey if you want to be treated at the hospital but you both refuse. 

As the cops get ready to leave a reporter shows up at the front door and snaps a picture of you and Joey. Another cop scolds him and yells, “Get the fuck out of here!” The reporter takes his camera and runs.

Joey sighs and says, “Great! Our picture’s gonna be in the paper tomorrow. My manager is gonna give me shit.”

The cop that took your report says, “My wife and I are planning on going to your show at CBGB on Saturday.”

Joey says, “Cool. I’ll see ya there and I’ll have the band autograph our new album for ya.”

The cop says, “Sounds great! You guys take care”.

When the cops leave, Joey and you go back to his place. You both lay on his bed together. Not only are you sore, now he is, too. You decide you will both take care of each other.

He has his arms around you and your head is resting on his chest. You can feel his heart beating.

He teases, “I can’t believe I had to go through all this to make you mine. My face feels like it’s gonna fall off. That fucker sure can kick.”

You say, “Poor baby, you must really love me to have gone through all this for me. By the way, you looked sexy kicking his ass.”

Joey kisses you on the forehead and says, “I’d do anything for you. Even if it means risking my life. You’re the one, ya know?”

You have never felt so happy. And to think you were contemplating suicide a couple of days ago. Joey was your angel, your savior. You were excited about what the future had to bring the both of you in your new relationship

♥


End file.
